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The Intern - Can You Have It All?

*If you have not watched, proceed with caution. Spoilers ahead*


The age old question: Can a woman have a successful career and a family without sacrificing either? In The Intern starring Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro, Jules (Hathaway) is the founder of About the Fit, a clothing company that went from startup to major corporation in 18 months.  She has a family - a stay-at-home husband who left his job so that Jules could run hers and a daughter.  Her company runs a Senior Internship program where they hire Ben (De Niro) to be Jules’ assistant. Ben is a 76-year-old widower who is looking to have some purpose in his life.  He is observant of everyone around him, most especially Jules. He admires Jules, her tenacity, her love of her work and her family, but he also sees that she is conflicted. Everyone around her (her daughter’s play group, her company’s investors) see her as a mother first and a businesswoman second. Throughout the whole movie, she struggles with the looks, the comments that since she is a woman and a mother she shouldn’t be successful and is doing a disservice to her husband and daughter (not fulfilling her duty).  She struggles with this to the point that she is almost willing to give up her career, her passion to save face with her “friends” and family.  Ben comes in and reminds her that this is her life and she is doing one hell of a job at it.  She has made something amazing, something that her daughter will be proud of and she shouldn’t be ashamed of that.

And no other mother out there should be either.  Men don’t have to choose between being a father and a successful businessman. Why should a woman choose between being a mother and a successful businesswoman? Being a success should not be a detriment to who you are at home. It should be a positive.  When you have a daughter, being a successful woman like Jules gives you someone to look up to; gives you something to strive for.  In a male dominated corporate world, it is refreshing and empowering to see a woman make it big.  Too often do I see women of my age having to choose between being successful in their career choice and being a mom.  The old rules that a woman should stay home with the children, cook, clean and keep the household running don’t apply anymore.  In today’s economical time a middle class family needs 2 incomes to run effectively.  In society today women are a part of almost every job market and gaining remarkable ground in high profile markets (finance, Wall Street, politics, military).  

We as women will always face criticism about working as a mother and working in general. That might not ever change. What can change or rather what needs to keep happening is women taking control of their own destinies and doing what they want. If you want to be stay-at-home mom’s go for it. If you want to have a successful career, go for it. If you want to have both a successful career and a family go for it. Whatever you want to be in life you have the choice to be that.  It is your life; no one should tell you how to live it or why. They are not you. (end of rant).

Back to the movie…

Jules embodies the image of a successful career woman and mother.  Yes she has doubts about her relationship with her husband and her daughter; yes she has doubts about her “friend” relationships. But the one thing she never doubts is that she can do this. She has a passion for her career and her family that drives her every day and keeps her confident that she has made the right choices along the way.  Towards the end of the movie she doubts that she can do it because she almost hires a CEO for her company to lessen her burden. She was getting pressure from investors and her husband. Her husband. He is the main culprit for this blog article.

He choose to stay at home with their daughter so that Jules could focus on her business at first. After 18 months he was hoping that she would be working less and be at home more so he can have time to himself and do things for him. Because that didn’t happen, he goes out and has an affair not once but twice.  When Jules confronts him about it he almost has the nerve to say that she pushed him to cheat but he doesn’t.  Eventually right before Jules is about to call the new potential CEO of About the Fit, he comes to the office and begs her not to sell the company because he was to blame. He wasn’t strong enough to deal with her being successful but he knows that he was ridiculous, loves her and doesn’t want to be the reason she stops doing what she loves. This story is important because women go through this struggle every day and some don’t make it out so easily.  

Women shouldn’t have to choose. If people make us, we take step backwards in our evolution and that is not something we should be teaching our daughters and our sons.  We should be teaching them that they can have what they want if they want to work hard to get it.  Having both won’t be easy; it will be a struggle.  Just like everything else in my opinion.  Life is a struggle. But there are wonderful moments in the middle that make everything worth it. That is what The Intern is about - not just choosing between a career and being a mom (in this case you can and should have both) but finding the moments in life that make having both worth it.

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